Life in songs

My life as a mom is compartmentalized so much so that it is close to comical. It would be great to film any day of any mom’s life and edit it down to a few minutes with no voices just play “The Barber of Seville” over it. You would bring a theatre full of parents to their feet with a roar and laughter as this would capture life between birth and 18 perfectly. No words just full steam ahead free flowing organized, mishaps, chaos with three meals a day.

I often play music on the radio or it streams in my mind over my daily life to make it more entertaining. Recently as I was completing my evening sojourn of the take 2 trains, get the car, get a snack, run to two different after school programs to pick up kids, give said snack, pick up a healthy dinner, make homework happen, check homework, heat food, serve food, try to eat food and spend quality time with kids, have a conversation, find out how their day was, make sure guitar is practiced, little bodies bathed, all are read to, loved and listened to, try not to fall asleep w/ child while reading.

Through all of this I have music playing over my life on either the radio, iPod or in my head. It dawned on my that I break my life into units measured by the number of songs it takes to complete any task. Driving to Emma’s afterschool is a two song commute. Dinner prep is ideally four songs, five if I have a glass of wine, six if I get a phone call while cooking. Bath’s take three songs unless both kids bath together than it’s a five song rubber ducky repertoire. If the radio in our car hits the 3rd song when I am charging from one after school pick up to another than you don’t want to be the car driving slowly in front of me. I have to get there before the after school person has their hand held out for that $10 late pick up fee. The fee that the 22 year old after school counselor tells you how sorry they are in words but their eyes are dancing as they have already spent the money. They are delighted because they think since you drive a car and own a house you are rich. Though in some crazy way you feel like you have less money in this stage of life than you ever have before. Just like the music in my mind every dollar is allotted before it is even earned.

Lullabys don't have a measure because no matter how tired I want those sleepy, nodding off kisses before dreams to last the length of an entire symphony. Just squeeze in one extra hug, because some day down the line those will be divied up too but not by me. The rules will change as my kids grow and they will not need that constant reassurance. So for now I get up from reading after I've told the monster in the closet of my sons room that he was not invited and that he needs to go home to his mommy. I hum a Hannah Montana song as I go through bags see what needs to be signed, returned, paid, Cloroxed and identified. Do laundry, greet husband, find medical forms, find summer camp, make Dr’s appt., think of present for various 5 year old birthday parties coming up, barter with husband to see who is responsible for finding chosen gift, have a life and possibly a career.

It all sounds packaged, planned and pigeonholed. It often feels that way as well. Sometimes when you lay your head on your pillow at night and the lights are off you can see the pages of your life lying open in front of you like a spreedsheet. You are the music broadcaster of your life forecasting drivetime, lunchtime, playtime and even private time. Dividing it all up into songs with their own slots. Life should not be so orchestrated but I've found that background music somehow works to spur me on in the daily duties of managing four people’s lives. One just has to remember to pull off at an unplanned roadside stop once and a while. Stop at that tacky wax museum you’ve driven by too many times next to your filling station. For once don’t just re-fuel and hit the highway. Visit the wax museum and the gift shop too, jump on the beds and have ice cream for dinner. Life is too short and sweet so listen to the music in your life. If there isn’t any playing allow your heart to feel it and your mind will soon catch up. When you hear it grab your children or your partner and dance. The dance and song are short but the memories linger for a lifetime. These tunes and moments will go fast and just like a popular song they will be replaced but others needs and life moments. But hopefully you will always feel the beat and your heart will skip and your toes will tape with the songs of your childs young life when you hear them in real time or in your head as you race down the roadways and hallways towards new vistas and checkpoints.

In your heart your child will always be little and just down the hall they will need one more snuggle and a dance before bedtime. They may be grown now and have children of their own.
Yet we are all children inside and our own children will always be 5 or 6 in some way. We all want mom to dance with us and tell us how much she loves us. To be whispered too that we are special and that everything will be alright as she kisses our cheek and lowers the light.